Things learned by the Cornthwaite children this holiday season:

  1. Using a slingshot to fling peanuts against the wall usually cracks the shell and helps you get the peanuts out easier, and sometimes it shatters the whole shell. Evidently this is a labor-saving method of shelling peanuts, even though one must sweep up all the shells afterwards.
  2. Giblets are the heart, gizzard, and liver of a turkey. They also, according to boy-child #1, would make an awesome centerpiece for a holiday table.  Boy-child #1 will probably never be given carte blanche as a decorator.
  3. The large angel figure holding a sign that says “HOP” outside the church might be trying to get you to exercise, but it’s more likely that the “E” fell off the sign.
  4. Don’t put boiling-hot apple cider into a cut-glass bowl. Especially if the bowl was a wedding present.
  5. No matter how curious the lyrics to “Silent Night” make you, it’s best not to ask your parents “What’s a virgin?” in a crowded room.

We had a lovely Christmas, thank you, and I hope you had the same.